Here I am...send me

Mustard Seeds

2011-04-16T23:07:00.002-04:00

Mustard Seed...that has become my new nickname. Disappointment has hit. I'm on the waitlist for Vanderbilt. My dream that I always wanted is now hanging on to a thread and out of my control.This means that I will only get in if someone declines the job. Goodbye Nashville, Hello Norwalk. The first day I found out I was not ok. I was angry at God. I want things my way because I seem to think that I know what's best for my life. I wanted to move to Nashville. I wanted to live with Meg. This is not fair. So what about the mustard seed?
"He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

My faith has not been like a mustard seed. I have been so doubtful of what God can do. I wanted to sit and mope about my loss, but then God made me realize this is not the end of the world. I am being so selfish. He is the ALMIGHTY GOD and I am doubting Him? I have life, I can breathe, I have an incredible family, this is nothing close to the end of the world. I'm beginning to realize what a blessing it is to be at the will of God. He has total control over my life at this point in time and the more I think about it the more excited I become. He knows the big picture and He will be faithful no matter where I end up. I've decided to take that faith of a mustard seed. I want to be totally dependent on Christ alone and I know that He will pull through, even if that means no Nashville. I serve a might God and I am excited to see where He takes me from here!

Disappointment

2011-03-08T22:23:00.002-05:00

I know alot about disappointment. It happens to be my biggest fear, and yet something I'm all too familiar with. I remember my first encounter with disappointment. I was 4 years old and I was sitting on a table sobbing at preschool as my teacher was explaining to me that I was not randomly chosen to be the angel in the school play. See Megan got to be the angel the two years before and so I automatically thought that applied to me too. I remember that pain very clearly. Unfortunately disappointment continued to follow me in life. Amy was a star in the 8th grade play and I wanted to be just like her so I tried out as well, I didn't make. I once again battled disappointments and felt like a failure. Going into high school I again got another one on one with disappointment, this time it was the musical. Once again Amy and Megan had gotten large roles in the musical before and I wanted to be like them. I wanted to show everyone that I was just like my sisters. I remember that moment so well and my friends had to come find me in the bathroom and take me to the office because I was so devastated that I had not even made the musical as an extra. I didn't understand why I wasn't making it. I took this disappointment as a blow to my self esteem. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't as good as my sisters. What was wrong with me and who am I were questions that filled my head. I picked my self off the floor and life went on. I accepted the defeat. I tried to ind things that I loved and that I was good at. When I was twelve years old I felt a call towards missions. I was pretty sure that God was talking to me and I was so amazed because this was something that was my own. My sisters had never declared this calling. Finally I was figuring out who I was and I wasn't facing disappointment. Then I decided to follow this dream and passion of mine to Mali. I thought that I was strong enough and everyone was so proud of me. I remember being on my knees in Mali sobbing because this time I wasn't the one facing a disappointment, I was the disappointment. I felt like I had failed. The one thing that I had so much passion for and I had failed. Why was God doing this to me. I thought I was in full surrender to Him. Once again I had no idea who I was anymore. This dream that I had always had felt like it was crumbling in my hands. I failed.

So here I sit two days after my first real life career interview terrified. Am I going to face the disappointment again. Am I going to disappoint people again. I tried my hardest, I tried to show them who I am, and yet I am still terrified to know the outcome. All of those emotions from previous disappointments are flowing back and I don't even find out if I get the job until April. But this time I want it to be different. I turn to His word and remember
"This I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lords great love we not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him'"

I serve a great God, and he has great plans for my life. No i never got to be the angel in my preschool play, and I never got to be the lead role in a musical or play, but God opened other doors and he is fulfilling his purpose in other ways in my life. Do I want this job? More than anything, but I will be OK if I don't get it. It's not a failure, its a closed door, but through that closed door God will open a window and it will be even better than I could have ever imagined.

8 months later- I'm just not ready yet

2010-09-02T21:59:00.002-04:00

So I realized today that it has been 8 months since my trip to Mali and I really have missed writing blogs. I've decided to pick it back up and write about my journey to making it to the missions field. Mali really broke me. I was hit hard with the reality of what serving God is like in Africa. When I arrived home I felt really broken and really defeated. I was so hard on myself for feeling as if I failed. I had many a conversations with God saying you got the wrong person and even doubted that God called me which made me doubt my relationship with Christ. I hate to admit that I was bitter about my trip to Mali and the emotions that I experienced. I felt out of place and unwanted. God had recently started working on my heart and showing me the lessons He taught me while I was in Mali. I am so selfish, and I'm not sure if I was completely ready for a place like Mali. I wanted to serve God but my heart was not where it should be. I still am fighting this battle today. I know in my heart that I am called to missions and that God placed that calling on my life for a reason, but I'm battling it. When I returned from Mali I wanted to move on with my life and give up on missions. It hard and scary, and I was lonely and insecure, but God is reminding me everyday that serving him isn't easy and He never promised that it would be. So I say that I am still battling this bc I am still not ready to surrender that to God. I know the calling on my life, but I'm still selfish and I'm fighting that calling. I hate to admit that, but I also can't lie about it either. I know that someday I will be ready to surrender, but I'm not ready yet. I'm selfish. I look at my family and friends and home and say I'm not ready to give this up yet and I'm sorry. God is still working in me everyday and I know that I want to serve him. I'm sorry for being honest and for being selfish. I'm just not ready yet, but I know and pray that someday I will be.

Home Sweet Home

2010-01-09T06:52:00.002-05:00

Two days later and I have finally made it home!! What a crazy and yet amazing adventure.

Yesterday I took 12 showers in the Paris hotel because I was sooo cold. The heat in my hotel was not working and I couldn't figure it out. Finally I started to look around for the heat vent and I finally found it...way up by the ceiling. Of course I was cold because hot air rises...come on France. So anyways I finally wake up at 4:45am and give up on the whole sleeping thing and take yet another shower to warm up. When I got out of the shower I realized that I had accidentally gotten my only sweatshirt wet...so now I would have to adventure the day in a t-shirt(at least I took an airplane blanket). I find it ironic that I was in the fashion capital of the world and I had on a t-shirt, jeans and flip flops...with socks!:). So I finally ate by lovely french breakfast at the hotel(it was good) and got back on the shuttle to try and find the right terminal. Praise Jesus that I'm really good at asking questions now and I was able to find my way. Security was not bad, I had no wait and I made my way to the terminal and began to wait for my flight. At this point I'm pretty sure airplanes hate me because once again my flight was going to be delayed...and once again I was going to miss my connecting flight in Newark. Well it was delayed 2 hours, but I did meet a very nice couple from Kenya. We talked for a long time, they were so nice. Finally it was time to board the plane and while I was waiting (they were frisking everyone...so it took a while), I met a lady who was also on my next flight to Cleveland. She was so sweet and I will tell you more about her later. So I finally get on my flight and 8 hours later arrive in Newark(Yeah). I go through border control then go to get my bags(which never showed up and I learned are still in Paris)and then I went through customs. I finally realized when I got to customs that my plane was boarding so I needed to get there fast(this was my other rescheduled flight because I did miss my original connecting flight. I ended up running through the airport and finally did make it. Luckily there was no one on the plane and so I was able to switch seats and sit by the lady I met earlier. I learned that she is an ER nurse at Metro hospital in Cleveland and I showed her all of my pictures. She was really excited to see everything and then she began to tell me about how I should apply at their hospital for the summer and that she would put in a good word for me...isn't God so good. Just think if I would have made my original flight I would never have met her. The flight went so fast as I was talking with this lady, but I was so excited to see my parents. I headed down to baggage claim and of course no bags, so I went to make a claim and then headed out the door(my parents were late because of snow) Finally I got to hop in the car and we went out to eat. I never have appreciated home so much in my life. It is so good to be back. Praise Jesus for a safe trip home. As hard as this trip was I wouldn't change anything. I have learned so many hard, but good life lessons and God has allowed me to meet some amazing people along the way. I can't believe that this is going to be my last post...I actually have enjoyed posting and will miss it. Thank you everyone who supported me in prayer, it was well needed and accepted. God has done some amazing things, and I can't wait to see where He takes me from here. : )

The day I got stuck in Paris.

2010-01-07T12:18:00.003-05:00

So beginning last night was probably one of the most stressful times of my life. I know I'm in Paris, which should be exciting, but when all you want to do is just go home, it's not fun.

This is how my day has gone. Last night we woke up at 1:30am and headed to the airport(One of the missionarie's sister and brother-in-law were on my flight as well). When we were going through immigration there was a couple there who were trying to get this little girl on the plane. The police official was resisting because they did not have any record that the little girl was theirs. Kinda scary but they did finally get through and took the girl as well. We also saw many couples who were bringing their new adopted child home as well, so great to see their excitement. We finally got to the terminal at 2:30am. In Mali there is only one terminal, so it gets quite chaotic. While we waited all I wanted to do was get on the computer and call my parents so that I could apologize for my poor attitude the night before. I will be honest and say that I did not handle the news well that I would not be going home the next day. I was very frustrated as all I really wanted was to be home. So after we waited for a while we finally found a really nice man who spoke English(yeah!!) He helped translate everything for us and we finally made it on the plane. We were scheduled to take off at 4:15am, but that did not really happen until about 5:30am. I was stuck in the middle of the plane with a family who did not speak any English. I tried my best to speak some french, but it wasn't really working to well. Finally we arrived in Paris and I had no idea what to expect. The night before my dad had switched my flight so that I would fly out a day later. This was the earliest flight that he was able to get. This meant that I would be staying in Paris for a whole 24 hours alone. Kinda exciting but also a little scary. My dad had told me that I would need to find the ticket counter and try and get compensated for the missed flight by asking for a free hotel stay. I absolutely hate doing this, but with only 2 hours of sleep in 2 days I was just ready to go to bed.
I got in line for Air France and waited my turn. While I was waiting I met a very nice Nigerian man who was on his way back to Nigeria for his father's funeral. He has also missed his flight and was very upset. I felt even more guilty for being upset that i missed my flight, I'm so selfish, when this man had a real reason to be upset. I finally made it up to the counter and all the lady did was tell me that It wasn't her fault and said that I needed to go to another terminal. For any of you who have never been in The Charles De Gaulle Airport, it is awful. There are all these different shuttles that you have to take to get to different terminals. So I jumped on the terminal and went to where she told me to go, it was wrong, so back onto the shuttle I go. I finally made it to the continental terminal and the man leads me down this really long hallway and no one from continental was there. I went back to the shuttle stop and tried to ask a man if he knew where I should go. This is where a mini break down began to happen again and no one who worked in the airport knew where anything was.Finally I headed back to the Air France counter and waited my turn. This time I was prepared to fight. Don't worry I was nice, but the tears did make their way out and I left with my hotel ticket. Now I had to find the shuttle to take to the hotel. It amazed me how many people I had to depend on while in Paris to help me find things, that airport is so confusing. Finally after asking many very nice people I finally found my way to the shuttle(5 hours later). A very nice American business man even let me borrow his phone to call my parents and tell them I was still alive. Now I am just enjoying alone time in my hotel room. I even took a bath!! If only I had more time during the day or I would have gone exploring. I will be so very thankful to finally make it home tomorrow. God has been good and provided strength through this all, and once again I have learned many new lessons through him. I need to get a good night sleep...home tomorrow!!

They have a zoo in Mali?

2010-01-06T17:28:00.002-05:00

So today I went to the zoo. Yes, in Africa I went to the zoo. It was actually a really fun experience. I've realized how not fun the states is, I mean come on it's a wild animal, how bad could it be if it got lose? : ) So anyways, we got to pet the elephants and got really close to a lion and a monkey and it was amazing. The zoo at home will never be the same.

After the zoo we went to eat at another missionaries house. It was a good time of fellowship and then we decided to check the status of our flight that was suppose to leave at 11:45pm. That would be when we discovered that it was delayed and not expected to come in until 1:30am. I tryed to remain calm and realized all would be fine and I would still make my next flight to the US the next morning. Two hours later we checked again...now our plane will not be leaving until 4:30am. This means that I will not be making my flight to the US tomorrow. My parents tell me that God is trying to prepare me for the future now all in one trip...a flat tire, a missed flight, loniness. I'm a little scared to think about what else could possibly happen. Oh well, this is where I have to bust out the positive attitude and know that God had got this all under control once again. Wish me luck and hopefully next time I write I will be on my way home.!

Life Lesson's Learned in Africa: How to change a flat tire

2010-01-05T15:32:00.003-05:00

So today was yet another adventure in Africa. We started out the day at 7 when I woke up to say goodbye to the team that I have been staying with the last few days. It was actually rather emotional as these people have been such an answer to prayer and have become almost family to me in 2 days. Last night before going to bed all of the women on the team just surrounded me with prayer and continued to encourage me. It was a great time of prayer, God really knew what he was doing.

Anyways back to today, so we ended up actually getting on the road around 9:15/9:30ish and started out adventure to Bamako. Once again there were 12 people in the van including 5 children all under the age of 4. About 2 hours into the trip we arrived in Segou. This is where we did some touristy things such as painting mud cloth. This is really cool, they have a special kind of fabric where you paint mud onto it and then wash it and it turn the fabric different colors. Its really neat. After painting we then went to order our food and began to go out to the market for souvenirs. This is always really intimidating to me because I hate bartering but the missionaries helped and I got some great things to take home. After shopping we ate some lunch and then packed back into the car to start the next 4 hour trip home. Well we only wish it took 4 hours to get back. About 2 hours after we left Segou, we were driving and all of a sudden we heard a loud popping noise. Yep it was our tire, so we try to pull to the side of the road. Well some how on our way down a hill the front of our car hit the dirt and stopped, we couldn't move it so now we had a flat tire and a car that was stuck in the dirt. We pile out and I tried to round up the 5 children and took them back into the bush trying to find shade. I'm pretty sure all of the Malians who drove by just laughed at us American's saying how many American's does it take to change a tire, well the answer to that is 4. Finally a car full of Malians stopped and tried to help. They were trying to coach the missionary through trying to get the car at least unstuck from the dirt, but they just finally told him to get out of the car and then a Malian man proceeded to drive the car out...with no problem...you might of had to be there but it was hilarious. So now we could finally start working on changing the flat. An hour and 4 American's later we finally got the tire fixed. We started on our way again trying to find a place to get a new tire. We stopped in another little town and our care was bombarded with African children. They were so interested in us, but I kind of felt like a fish in a fish tank as they all crowed around the car staring at us. By the time we left this town is was going on 6pm. This is a bad thing here in Mali because the sun goes down at about 6:30pm and apparently it is illegal to drive on the road at night because they are so bad. The next 2 1/2 hours consisted of hungry kids yelling and crying and puking. Yes, the roads are bumpy here which doesn't really mix well with a 2 year old's stomach and so he started to get car sick. We all were trying to scramble around and clean up the mess all with the light of a lap top computer screen. Finally we have made it to Bamako and everything is good:). It was quite the adventure.

Now I am sitting in the same room where I began my journey two and a half weeks ago. It really did go fast, but I have learned so much in these past few weeks I wouldn't change this experience for anything. I have been challenged and stretched farther than ever before in my life, but because of this trip I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with my Savior. He is such an incredible God. I look back at all of the things I went through and all of the things I have experienced and all I can say is Praise Jesus. Last night as I was praying with my new friends one of the girls was talking to me about my experiences and she said something that really hit me hard and I honestly had not thought about it. Satan has been working, the minute I stepped in the car to go to Koutiala he started attacking. He knew just where to strike and he did so by making me feel inadequate for this work. This whole trip I honestly was beginning to question my call to missions.I felt like God had made a big mistake calling me to come on this trip. It's hard work to be here, and I felt like I was failing miserably, but I look back and I see that was Satan attacking. God doesn't make mistakes and I know that he placed that call on my life to serve him overseas. Satan was scared,he wanted to make this trip as miserable as possible for me so that I will turn away and not share the love of Christ with others. All I can say is my God is so much bigger and better and WE have won this battle. I choose to stand in Christ, no matter what obstacles stand in my way. I will patiently wait on the Lord as I still am not sure where he wants me, but that will come in time.

I want to share with you some of the little ways that God has been working while I have been here. One of the biggest things that I was dealing with before leaving on this trip was fear. I don't like to be by myself and I don't always like to meet new people when I'm all alone. I had so much fear of the unknown before coming. I learned to lean on Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." When I stepped on that airplane in Cleveland the fear was gone. I even lived in a house by myself in Africa for 2 whole weeks without any fear(I was the only person on the whole compound for a week during new years). Now if you know me, then you would know that I have never even stayed in my house in the US by myself(I know once again shameful).I would always call a friend to come stay with me because I hated being by myself and honestly I was scared(I know I'm 21 years old but still). I usually have a lot of fear when it comes to staying by myself, but God truly was holding me the whole time and the fear has been gone. I'm telling you we serve such a MIGHTY God.

I thank you so much for all of you who have been my prayer warriors while I was gone. I have felt your prayers in so many different ways. God is so wonderful. Tomorrow is my last day in Mali as I fly out at 10:30 tomorrow night. I will try to keep you informed of my journey home. God Bless!

Deliver a Baby...Check : )

2010-01-04T12:33:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure today was the best day of my life...I mean I delivered a baby, does it get any better than that? Here is what happened today.

So we arrive at 7:30 to hospital all ready for devotions. It was great as always and I actually understood them today(someone translated) The malians thanked me for my visit and wished me a safe trip home, they are so great. After devotions I went back to the labor and delivery room with Olive for my last day :(. When we arrived there was a women who came in hemmorhaging. She was only 27 weeks pregnant but the baby had to be delivered. The baby was born breach and she was not moving or appeared to be breathing. They declared her a still born and continueed to take care of the mother. About 15 minutes after the nurses wrapped the baby up, we began to notice that the wrapping was moving around, alot. We unwrapped her and discovered that she was breathing and had a strong heartbeat, but at her age, she was fighting for her life. Unfortunately she was too little to save and so I just held her until she went to be with Jesus. She was so beautiful and I had a really hard time with this case. I just wish I could save the whole world sometimes.
A few hours later we recieved another women who was in labor. After checking her we discovered that she was 7 centimeters dialated. We waited around for a while, but then noticed that the babies heart rate was beginning to decrease lower than it should. Olive then broke her water and the women began pushing. This is where Olive let me take some control and coached me through it. I did what Olive told me to do and out came the baby. I got to cut the cord and then Olive taught me how to deliver the placenta. This has confirmed my desire to be a midwife. I can't even express to you the joy of delivering this baby. It was the best feeling in the world. After this things really slowed down, so I decided that I would go give some blood to help the people out. I really loved the guys in the lab. They spoke pretty good English, but I tried to speak French with them to praciticed and they just laughed at me. It was a wonderful experience. Now I am back home and beginning to pack to leave. This trip went so fast, which is good and bad. I am so ready to go home and so ready to be back in my comfort zone, but also sad to leave the expereinces I have had here. Overall this was a great way to end my stay in Koutiala. More to come as I adventure back to Bamako tomorrow! : )

Sunburn : )

2010-01-03T10:20:00.004-05:00

Today has been a pretty good day. We started out the day by going to church at the Bethel Bible Institue. It was a very good service, this time in French(instead of Bambara) so I was able to understand a little bit more. After church we went outside and greeted everyone. I'm starting to enjoy this more as I am catching on to some of the Bambara phrases and It's really fun to see the Malian's faces when I try to speak their language :). The team that is here also gave out coloring books and crayons to the children and they loved them. We started taking pictures of them and they started to love that more than their gifts. They would squeal with joy whenever we would show them their picture after we took it...so great! After church we then went to the hospital to show the new team members what it was like. I'm really starting to fall in love with the people here. They have so much joy when you greet them, it just radiates through them. When we got back to the house, one of the women from the team had already made lunch. It was an amazing taco soup(so much better than the ceral I have been living off of :) ) Then we did the best thing ever and layed out by the pool next door, I got a tiny sunburn(sure beats snow!!)

This team has been such a blessing and has really helped to make my last few days here in Mali great! I really feel like they are becoming family and it's only been one day. One of the mom's even kissed me goodnight...they are so wonderful!God has provided in so many ways. I am beginning to see this trip as such a blessing. I know that I am being prepared for the future in so many ways.God had a plan for me to be here, even in my suffering he is preparing me for what's to come, and I will patiently wait on him to see what that is. I can't believe my time here is almost done, and I will be returning home. I can't believe that I actually did this. If you would of told me a year ago that I would be in Africa right now, by myself, I would laugh, really hard, but God prepared me and he has done some incredible things in me on this trip. I am so thankful for my time here, even though it was diffuclt.

Here are some pictures from church this morning. Enjoy!

What a faithful God we serve!!

2010-01-02T15:01:00.003-05:00

So this weekend has been very lonely. There have been many times of just falling to my knees in prayer, crying out for help. Thankfully we serve a good God and He continued to tell me it would all be ok and gave me some peace. Today a team of 11 people arrived in Koutiala(Yeah I finally have company!!!) There are two girls who are close to my age and they are so wonderful. Amazingly we have learned how small of a world it is. One of the girls is he daughter of the surgeon who came to work at the hospital. They use to live in North Fairfield and they went to Norwalk Alliance. The surgeon also worked at Fisher Titus for 8 years. The other girl's brother is a senior at IWU...so crazy!! God is so faithful and after all this time of me spending time with him alone he has provided friends! Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness!!

How do you say that in French?

2010-01-01T11:03:00.004-05:00

( A note before I begin, my spell checker is not working, and if you know me this is tragic, so I apologize in advance...I will do my best :) )

So being here I have learned how much communication matters. I can't even express to you how much I wish that I could speak French. I have learned a few things about myself while being here and one of those things is how much I love to talk. One of my favorite things to do is sit down with someone and just talk about life, I love to hear about other people lives and I love to have good conversations. I'm not sure what I was exepecting when I came here because I knew I wouldn't be able to communicate but I guess I never realized how much it would hurt. All I want to do is sit down with these people and love on them by talking with them, but all i can do is smile(which I know goes along way too). I find it so funny that God knows what he is doing and that we think we know what he is doing as well....but he are completely wrong. To be honest I thought then when God called me to come out here, He was calling me here to show me that this is where he wanted me, or to confirm my call to missions once again. I just laugh at this thought now. God called me here not necessarily to help the people here, but to help myself. I'm so stubborn! I've learned more about myself in three weeks then I have in 21 years. Sure I've learned some great things medically and I've had some great experiences, but I've also had some very trying times.

I'm not saying that I think God is calling me out of missions, because I can't make that judgement call right now, but I'm not completely sure that that's not the case either.I've learned to wait on him and in time, he will show me my path.If it's on the missions field, then he will give me the strength to be away from family and the comforts of home(plus I would learn the language before coming :)), but if its in the US then I could serve him just as well, as long as I'm in his will. God has shown me a few things about myself over this trip: I love to communicate(Yes, I do love to talk!!), I love holding newborn babies and have a true passion for them : ),I love the medical field(yeah for helping others)and I can do anything with his strength. As cliche as the last one sounds its so true. Living in the US we are all about convinence. I honestly don't know how many times i can say that I've had to fully depend on God's strength(which is kinda shameful I know), but here i have nothing left and all I can do is lean on him. Where God will lead me with these things I'm not sure, but I know that I'm willing to do whatever he asks. It's been a true frustration to be here and feel like I'm not a help at all. I want to serve God with all I have, but I've learned that sometimes that just means traveling thousands of miles away to a situation way out of my comfort zone that breaks me down so much that I have no choice but to listen to his voice. We've had some great Daddy daughter time, and I'm truly learning so much from him. I'm so excited to go home and see where he leads me! I thank you all so much for your prayers and for your patience with me. I praise him that I can boast in my weakness, because through my weakness he is being made soooo strong!

The beginning of a new year

2009-12-31T15:13:00.004-05:00

So as much as I wish that i could be at home celebrating new years with my family, I need to remember that I am in Africa serving God and that's the best place to be right? It's all in my attitude and I choose to have a good attitude tonight! This morning I was doing my devotions and God lead me to the book of Malachi. The first chapter is all about God and his anger and hurt towards his people because they were not giving their all. They were offering him sacrifices that were defiled instead of the best animal that they had. God really spoke to me through this story and I had to do an attitude check of my own. Have I really been giving God my all? This trip has been so trying and has broken me down so much and sometimes I have failed with giving God my best. Everyday I must wake up and choose to serve Christ through a good attitude. I'm not going to lie and say this is easy, it's not, and I have failed many times. I thank God everyday for his faithfulness and grace on me. He has so much patience with me and my stubornness. I need his grace so bad and he is showing me more and more of my imperfections that need work. I'm so thankful for the quiet time that I have with my savior and the lessons that he is teaching me these past few weeks. Tonight is New Years Eve and I am spending it with my savior. I'll be honest, a few days ago I really struggled with having a bad attitude tonight. I wanted to have a pity party because I knew that I would be spending New Years Eve "alone", but then I was reminded again that I am not alone. I'm starting a New Year in the presence of my Heavenly Father, which I'm learning is the best place to be! Praise Jesus!

As for an update of my day. I got to see another baby born today bringing the total to 14!! God is good! I hope everyone has a great New Years Eve!!

A day in the Prenatal Clinic

2009-12-30T12:42:00.002-05:00

So today I spent the majority of my time helping out in the prenatal clinic. Basically what we did was assess the patient as she came in and talked to her about getting blood work done and get the medications she needs to have a healthy pregnancy. I learned how to feel for the baby's position in the belly...such an incredible thing. Pregnancy alone just gets me...the fact that you have a little human growing inside of you...it's incredible and really shows the craftsmanship of our awesome God. So anyways I got to feel for lots of babies today, trying to decide if I was feeling the head or butt or arms, it was an amazing experience. My sister or anyone else who may be getting pregnant soon better watch out because I am definitely going to practice when I get home : )

After we finished at the prenatal clinic we went back to see what was going on. We had a patient who we checked before we went to the clinic who was at 4 centimeters. When we got back she had just delivered. Olive told me about a traditional medicine that the Malians use here. They make some kind of drink out of mud and other things and then make the expecting mother drink it. This causes very violent contractions which makes labor go really fast. This is why the women went from 4 centimeters to full in only about an hour or so. This medicine is extremely dangerous and can cause some really bad reaction. It causes extreme hypertension in the mom and could cause problems in the baby. Olive told me a story about a women who was pregnant with her first child and she was given this medicine. The contractions were so strong that while she was delivering she ruptured her uterus, loss the baby and had to have a hysterectomy. My heart just breaks for these people. After a few hours we had another women come in with her first baby. She delivered in a few hours and had a beautiful baby boy. In news that doesn't involve labor and delivery, I was helping out with a TB patient today. She is not doing well at all. She has had a history of chronic TB and when we got her xrays back today over half her lung is scare tissue from the TB. She could use some prayers.

After all of this Olive and I decided to call it a day a little early today. I would really appreciate your prayers as I am not feeling that great. Please also continue to pray for the hospital, the staff and the patients. I hope you all have a great day!

Crazy day in Labor and Delivery

2009-12-29T12:58:00.002-05:00

Well today was definitely a day to get experience. We had a crazy day from the very beginning. To start out the day we arrived to two women who were both in labor, both 10 centimeters dilated, and both pushing!! One of the women was showing her pain very loudly, which is very uncommon here in Mali. This was her fourth pregnancy and she was very high risk because the last tow babies were delivered c-section. This is a risk because we were worried that if she pushed too hard she could rupture her uterus. It was too late to take her into a c-section as she was fully dilated and the head was down so the doctor grabbed some forceps and tried to get the baby out without the mom pushing. I will be honest I don't ever want the doctor to use forceps when I have children...so scary!! It basically looks like the doctor is yanking the baby out, but it's completely safe for the baby if it's done correctly. So not only is this women a high risk delivery but she was completely out of control. Every time the doctor tried to do anything she would kick and scream(like I said VERY uncommon here). We had 4 different people holding her down so that we could finally deliver the baby, a healthy baby boy! Next we turned to the other lady who was at 10 centimeters as well. Olive asked me to get something and I turned around and there was the baby! One push and the baby came right out, crazy! We got things calmed down a little bit when two more women 15 minutes apart came in. One was 37 weeks pregnant and having labor pains but she wasn't really too serious at the moment. The next was a 30yrs old women who was probably 4'8' and she was ready to give birth. We thought that we would have to section her because of her size, but yet again it was too late and the doctor had to deliver. Luckily everything went smoothly and she delivered a healthy baby. Then a few hours went by...we had a few more cases come in but nothing serious and no one in full labor. Then Olive decided to check the lady from earlier who was beginning labor. That is when she discovered that the baby was presenting with the cord, which means the cord was coming out before the head. This is a very dangerous situation and could kill the baby fast because the cord could get squeezed by the head, not allowing the baby to have oxygen. Everyone immediately screamed for a c-section. I have never seen people move so fast. They all ran around trying to get everything ready and they brought the lady in. The baby heart rate was decreasing rapidly and we were really concerned that we were losing the baby. Dr. Dan was finally able to cut and get the baby out. He was a very healthy baby boy!! Praise Jesus! It is so incredible how the hand of God truly is working through these people. That baby was losing oxygen fast and was in this situation for a good 10 minutes, honestly he probably shouldn't have made it, but we serve a mighty God!! It is so great to see victory here, God is truly working through these people and his name is being glorified more and more because of that! My delivery count is up to 12...crazy!! I got to sit and just hold some of these babies who were born and it was such a blessing! The best Christmas present ever!

I am very sad to report that the twins that were brought to us yesterday went to be with Jesus today. They died this afternoon because they were not able to breath on their own. The nurses and doctors did everything they could, but given their situation and how cold they got the day before at the city hospital really decreased their chances. We still serve a good God though and those times of victory over death really out weights these times of sadness.

I praise Jesus for such a great day and I am excited to see what else he has in store for tomorrow!

another day at the hospital...

2009-12-28T13:09:00.003-05:00

So today I gave injections, lots and lots of injections. I worked in the Well Baby Clinic and gave all of the little children their vaccines! It was a great experience but I felt bad that I was the enemy to all of these little children. After I was finished giving injections I went back to the labor and delivery room to help Olive. There I found out that she was really busy. One of the pastor's wife came into the hospital in labor, this was her 15th pregnancy but only her 10 living child!! When she first arrived we thought that she was going to have some major problems because the placenta looked like it was too close to the cervix, but praise God everything went well and she had a healthy baby girl. Next we had a set of twins arrive from the city hospital. We were told they were born the night before by c-section and their mother hemorrhaged at the hospital and died that night. The babies were then brought to us and they were blue. The doctors and nurses quickly got them on oxygen and under warming lights and they started to turn pink again. Sadly they are still having a hard time breathing so the doctors used a trick of theirs by tying a string to the top of the incubator and attaching the other end to the babies chest. This helps so that the babies chest won't collapse. After that we had another normal delivery making my delivery count at 8! I left the hospital early today because their was a special dance celebration back at the mission. The celebration was suppose to start at 2:00 but when we made it back to the mission at 3:00 it still had not started. Finally at 5:00 the women showed up and sang and danced for us. It was a lot of fun! Today was a good day and God is giving me strength to make it through the day. Thanks for all your prayers!

Solo Time : )

2009-12-27T17:51:00.003-05:00

So today I learned how boring American Christmas music really is : ). Today I went to church with Olive and today during the service all of the different Ethnic groups got up and sang their different Christmas songs in their native language. It was so much fun! They all stood up and danced and clapped and you could really see the joy of the Lord through their worship. When everyone was done and began to sit down a woman from the back began to shout " The Americabs haven't sang, the Americans haven't sang! We want to hear the Americans". I started to look around and quickly realized Olive and I were the only Americans in the church...OH NO! Luckily no one really noticed the woman yelling and Olive and I didn't have to get up and sing(which really is a blessing to those who would have had to hear me sing...trust me!) But before I realized that we wouldn't have to sing I was quickly trying to think of a song that we could sing up front. This is what brings me to my point that Americans do not have any exciting Christmas music. Can you imagine if Olive and I would have walked to the front of the church after hearing all the fun and exciting African music and started singing Silent Night, it would have been so incredibly not fun. I think we as Americans need to adopt the African way of worship, it would be so more fun : )! After church we came back home where I had the whole afternoon to my self. I made some mac and cheese(I know so American!) and then took a long nap before talking to my family and doing some good quality reading. Tomorrow starts another adventurous week at the hospital. I am very excited to see what God had in store for me and how I can pour his love out onto these people. Please continue to pray for me as I am still battling some homesickness, but we serve a faithful God and he is carrying me through!! Have a good night!

Joyeux Noel!

2009-12-26T17:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Christmas day,the birth day of our savior. Everyday for me is a humbling experience and my spiritually I am growing more than I could have ever imagine. Lesson learned on Christmas day: It doesn't matter where you are or who your with, what matters is that today is the birth of Christ and that deserves a celebration. To start yesterday off we went to church at 9am. This was quite the church service. The love Christ is so apparent in these people. The celebration was nothing like I have seen before, dancing and singing and praising the Lord with everything they have. I'm pretty church service at home now will never be the same : )
After church I was able to come back to my house for a little while to relax before lunch. I was able to Skype with my family(YEAH!!)and process everything I had experience at church. Olive and I then went to eat lunch at her house workers house. I got to experience my first real Malian meal. They brought out a bucket of water in which you are suppose to wash your hands. You dip your right hand into the bowl and splash water onto your left to wash both hands. You can not put your left hand into the bowl because your left hand is seen as unclean. After we washed our hands the food was brought out to us. It was rice with different vegetables, goat meat, and some sweat potato slices. You start out by putting your right hand into the bowl and eating the rice first by grabbing a hand full and licking it out of your hand. The Malians love to laugh and they were laughing at my ability to eat. The after a few minutes of eating the rice, you are invited to eat some of the meat and vegetables. The meal was very very good and I enjoyed it a lot(although I'm not sure how much my stomach enjoyed it). After the meal they brought us these bags full of a kind of juice made out of fruit juice and ginger. It was good but very spicy. Then they bring you out two bananas to eat. I was so full after all of this food. We then say and just talked to the people for a while, as they prepared the tea. I absolutely love the Malians. They are such wonderful and happy people. As I shared early they love to laugh and they had a great time laughing at me and all my American ways and also when I tried to speak Bambara they would just laugh at all my pronunciations. It was a great time. After we finished our 3 rounds of tea we said our goodbyes and left to go to another missionaries house for more celebrations. We went of to Terry and Barry Neumans house. I helped Terry prepare food in the kitchen before everyone arrived. We then sat down for dinner and had a great time in fellowship. After dinner we read the Christmas story and open a few gifts. It was such a great night and a wonderful way to celebrate the birth of Christ! This will definitely be a Christmas I will never forget! As for my emotions things are starting to look up. I am beginning to get over the culture shock and I am really trying to keep a good attitude. When I was home a friend of mine told me about the time they were on a missions trip to a place they thought they were called to, and they told me how miserable they were. They told me not to be surprised if this happens while I am in Africa. When we had this conversation I just kind of brushed that thought off, thinking that would not happen to me. When I was in Mozambique I absolutely loved it, so why would this be different. I can't even tell you how humbled I have been. I thought I knew things. I thought I knew what culture shock was and I thought that I would love every minute here. This trip had probably been one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I was so naive to think I would be fine. I came by myself during Christmas time thinking I would be just fine. God has been good and he had provided, but I can not say that I love it here. There are times when I am miserable, plain and simple. I miss my family, I'm lonely, I just want to be home. I really try to dismiss these feelings as I want to enjoy my time here, but I really think this is something God is trying to teach me. I have turned to him, like I have never had to before. I'm really learning to depend on his faithfulness and to put aside my selfish feelings and run on his love and joy alone, even when I have none left of my own. I really hope everyone gets to experience a feeling like this because I can tell this trip is going to be a turning point in my walk with Christ. He is faithful and such a gracious heavenly father and I know that he will carry me through till the end. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and that in the end you remember what this day mean. The birth of our Savior, who came and died for us, ridiculous humans, so that we could have a chance to live with him someday in heaven. That's why I'm here to share the love and joy that he is sharing with me. Praise Jesus!

Christmas Eve at the hospital!

2009-12-26T11:46:00.004-05:00

I've realized that I never shared with you what my day at the hospital was like on Christmas Eve. When we arrived in the morning we really didn't have much going on at the hospital so I went and helped Terry(the nursing director) wrap all of the gifts for the nurse including the watches that I brought. I then was called out for another delivery, went and helped out with our first normal delievey of my trip and then back to the presents. While wrapping the presents Jake had to give me a mini present wrapping lesson(clearly I'm not good at wrapping presents). When we were done I then went with Jake and Terry to go and hand the presents out. The nurses absolutely loved the watches and other things that they received. It was so great to see their smiles when they opened the watches.

The rest of the day consisted on two more deliveries. We had a 16 year old girl walk in and we could clearly tell she was in labor. By the time we got her up on the table and checked her she was already fully dilated and pushing. She was young and this was her first child and she had a very difficult time pushing the baby out. It was 5 minutes or more by the time we were able to get the baby out. He had the cord wrapped around his neck very tightly and was blue when he came out. They quickly realized he was not breathing and began to work on him. They finally got the baby to began breathing again and he began to get pink again, Praise Jesus! Then we had another lady come in with serve abdominal pain and she was bleeding very heavily. They checked her and realized she was 36 weeks pregnant and she had what is called placenta abruptio. This means that the placenta had torn away from the uterine wall causing lots of bleeding in the uterus. We then went to check the fetal heart tones and they were absent, she had lost the baby. Doctor Dan then wanted her to delivery the baby as soon as possible so Olive started using all the tricks she knew. It amazes me the to watch these women labor. The women here are taught to not really show pain. These women will be having very intense contraction and the only way that you can tell they are in pain is they may curl their toes slightly. It is amazing and make me sad to think of all the epidurals we give in the states and all the screaming and yelling that goes on. This trip is really giving me new perspective on things and I am very grateful for my experiences! The standing birth count is at 6!!

Joy to the World....

2009-12-24T17:52:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas Eve!! I have to say we serve a good good God. This trip has been a very challenging one for me. At times I have no idea why I'm here or what I'm suppose to be doing, but God is slowly revealing that to me. When I was talking to my roommate from school the other day she reminded me of a verse that I desperately needed to hear, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 its says, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I am so weak, that's what I need to admit. I came here thinking that I knew what I wanted and I had my own little plan, hoping that was God's plan too. This experience has humbled me in so many ways. I know that I am weak and I am willing to admit it. I am so inadequate for this work, because I have not been stepping aside to let God do his work. I have been so selfish and stubborn trying to figure everything out on my own. Tonight I was convicted of this and that is why I admit that I am weak. Without Christ I don't have the strength to be here, I don't have the strength to do this, but through Christ all things are possible. In my weakness (as a young immature 21 year old trying to figure life out), God will become stronger. When I fully surrender and let go of this selfishness and pride, then I will be strong because I will be strong in him. Now your probably wondering how this attitude change has come about, and I apologize for the attitude that I have had. Well tonight was Christmas Eve and Olive and I got invited to a missionary couple's house(Joe and Mary) who serve in the rural village, but are currently here recovering from an injury. We went over to their house and sat down to eat our feast. Mary then started talking to me about Christmas and she began to poor her wisdom into me. Olive and her both shared with me hard experiences that they have had being missionaries at Christmas and they let me know that they were once where I am currently at. All night I was able to be discipled by these two wonderful women. They truly are women of God and God is revealing the purpose of this trip through them. I am here to grow in Him through these people. I have been broken down on this trip, searching for my purpose and God showed up through my weakness. He has blessed me so much by providing great examples of himself through these women. They have shown me how to live my life. The biggest lesson that God taught me tonight was through a simple question, Where is my foundation? Is it in Christ, or is it in myself. Before tonight I wouldn't answer this question because I didn't like the answer. I said my foundation was in Christ, but my life and my attitude was not representing that 100%. I wasn't fully surrendering to Christ and allowing him to work through me however he pleases. I have been so selfish and prideful. But after tonight I am choosing to boast in my weakness, because I have knocked down that foundation I was building that revolved around me and I choose to put my foundation in him. I'm ready to love and serve with his attitude and his love, not my own. I say I am weak,but He is strong!

What am I doing?

2009-12-23T12:31:00.005-05:00

Well today was another exciting day. We arrived to find one of the woman who was in labor yesterday fully dilated and pushing. The baby was in a frank breach position which means that both the arms and the legs are up above the head and the baby is delived bottom first. I learned that this is not a good position for delivery very fast. Olive was able to deliver the body of the baby and everything was going pretty well until the head got stuck and would not budge. Another doctor then came rushing in and together they were able to deliver the baby boy. He was a little stunned but very healthy. After this, things at the hospital were kind of slow. We walked around to do rounds. There were a few new cases that came in through out the night but not anything too serious. We then waited around awhile and then right after Olive and I got done discussing the word quit, another woman comes in. She had just arrived, she was fully dilated and ready to push,and having TWINS!! It was a a pretty good delivery but the mom was tired after the first baby and had a harder time pushing. In the end we got two healthy babies, a boy and a girl! The mom then began to hemorrhage a little and so we started her on an IV. The best part was, Jake(one of the missionaries)let me put the IV in and coached me through it(YEAH!!). I am learning so much. Below is a picture of the twins that were born today! Enjoy!

I've enjoyed my time at the hospital and in Mali a lot but it has also been a huge challenge. I am really struggling with missing my family and home right now. Today was a very emotional day for me. I just really struggle with having to leave my family full time. As many of you know I felt the call towards missions since I was 11 years old. I just also felt God was leading me some where not in the US, but it's such a struggle for me to leave home. Christmas is going to be hard, but I know that Jesus lead me here for a reason and I'm ready for whatever he has planned to teach me. God is really stretching me while I'm here and it's only been a week, I can't imagine what it will be like when I leave! Please continue to pray for the hospital and the missionaries here especially over Christmas as they are away from loved ones too.

The missionaries here are such great people! I've really enjoyed getting to know them. I was able to give them all of their gifts tonight and they absolutely loved them(Thanks Jessica :) ). It was so great to see them get so excited over pepperoni and bacon! I also am giving the watches to all of the nurses tomorrow and I am very excited. The missionaries were very impressed with the number of watches collected so thank you SO much to all of you who provided. God is doing great work through these people! Well I need to get some sleep so I can be awake tomorrow...it's going to be Christmas Eve and it's 90 degrees...weird : )

Woah, What a day!

2009-12-22T16:13:00.005-05:00

So today was an amazing day, much better than yesterday. I'm pretty sure I learned more today than in all 3 years of nursing school. This blog might be kinda long too because I tried my first taste of Malian tea, so I might be up all night : ) (I will explain that more later).

I suppose I should start my day when the alarm clock went off at 5:45a.m.( If you know me you would laugh at that alone). We made it to the hospital at around 7:00am and Olive showed me around. It is really an amazing place. We then went out for morning devotions with the staff which was a really awesome experience. They sing, give a devotion and pray as a staff every morning. Of course I couldn't understand anything because It was all in Bambara but it was still great. Olive and I then began rounds. She took me to all of the different places in the hospital. We had just missed 3 deliveries from the previous evening but there was still plenty to see. There were many children sick with Malaria, some TB, and many more.

As a nursing student I have really mixed emotions about this experience. Some of the things I am seeing here at the hospital are so heartbreaking and I just want to fix everything. At the same time, as a nursing student all of this interests me so much. I feel like such a terrible person because I get excited for surgerys and other interesting cases because I am learning so many new things, but yet my heart is also breaking. I will share with you a little bit of what I experienced today.

The first case that I saw was a young woman who was in the hospital because she had severe Anemia. Her hematocrit level was 10%(Normal should be around 34%), so she was in bad shape. The previous evening they had given her a round of blood but she had a really bad reaction to it and her Hematocrit levels only rose to 12%(not good). She was 28 weeks pregnant and unfortunately she lost the baby from all of the treatments she was given to keep her alive. My heart broke for her as the doctors told her the news of her baby.

The next case was a woman who has suspected Burkitt's lymphoma, which is a form of cancer, and so she had a very large mass on her face. She told the doctors that she had been living with it for 6 years, I can't even imagine. Well I got to help the doctors do a spinal tap and inject the Chemo. It was really interesting.

The next case that I saw broke my heart. We had a young girl who was maybe 5 or 6 who fell into hot oil in town. She has 3rd degree burns all over her body. This was her 5th week at the hospital so she was healing quite well, but I was able to help the nurse with the dressings. I feel so bad for her and I really was battling my emotions.

There were not any deliveries today, but we did have two woman start labor and I kinda hope they wait until tomorrow to deliver but we will see, For one of the women that began labor this was her 12th delivery, with 9 living at home. So incredible. We also had a women walk in with a baby who delieved at home earlier that morning(she didn't have time to make it to the hospital. I also learned how to read ultrasounds, so incredible!

I know this entry is getting really long but there was so much today and I could probably go on and on so I will end with the surgery that I got to see today. It was called a myomectomy which is where they go into the uterus and remove the fibroids that have formed. This is apparently very common here in Koutiala. I was able to stand almost right next to the doctor and I watched the whole things. I learned so much!

After the hospital I was invited over to the Nesselroad's house(He is the OB/GYN at the hospital) for dinner. It was such a great time. We ended up talking for hours and hours about everything and it was so great to hear about all of the things God is doing here! This is also where I got to experience my first set of Malian tea. We were eating dinner and their neighbor came over to bring us all tea. There are three rounds to the tea and so every half hour or so he would bring another round. The first round is extremely strong( I think i might be up all night) and then each round after gets a little sweeter and not so strong. I really enjoyed it.

I'm sorry that this blog has been so long but today was a very exciting day. God is doing some great things over here and I really hope that I can be apart of this team someday. I've learned so much already and I love the people. They are so friendly and I love doing what I can to help the doctors take care of them.

Please continue to pray for my bags and they may arrive in Bamako either tomorrow of Thursday but that's a long shot. Just pray they get here before i leave. Also you could continue to pray for the nurses and doctors at the hospital. They do an amazing job, but it's very tough as I am learning and they could always use more prayer. Well that's it for today, I guess we will see what happens tomorrow!

I've arrived in Koutiala

2009-12-21T15:30:00.003-05:00

Well I have finally made it to Koutiala after a 6 hour drive in a van with no air conditioning, 12 people including 5 kids all under the age of 4. It was an interesting experience, but I rather enjoyed it. The kids were adorable and we had a good time playing I spy and many other games. We stopped for lunch at a place along the Niger river and I ate sheep...it was actually really good. Koutiala has been pretty good so far. As soon as I arrived I was taken over to Olive's house(she is the midwife I will be working with). She made a wonderful dinner for me and we talked for a long time about the hospital and my experience in the hospital at the US. We talked about what I want to do while I'm here and I'm really excited to begin at the hospital tomorrow.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed as it's another change of scenery and all new people to get to know. I feel like I'm in a little over my head as I don't have very much experience and I have no clue what I'm doing. I answered God's call to come and so I know there is a reason I am here, He just has not shown that to me yet. Don't get me wrong I am loving Mali and it is so great to be here, but I am way out of my comfort zone and feeling overwhelmed. Tomorrow is another day and I'm sure it will only get better from here.

I'm still waiting on my bags hoping they will come soon. God has provided for my needs in so many ways, but It kills me that I can't give the missionaries all of the presents I brought for them. Please continue to pray that they come.

Little Things

2009-12-21T03:33:00.002-05:00

I don't have much time because I will be leaving for Koutiala in 15 minutes but I just wanted to write about some of the things I have seen God do. It is so neat to watch God work out the little things, when you have no clue it would have been a problem in the first place. Back in October when I was planning this trip to Mali, my dad and I were discussing plane ticket options. I wanted to leave on the 19th so that I could have a few days at home first before I left. THe plane ticket ended up being 400 dollars more on both the 18th and 19th and so we had to book the ticket for the 17th(the very next day after finals). This meant that i would only have less than 24 hours to be at home with my family before I left. Selfishly I was a little grumpy about this (I was still excited for Mali) because I wouldn't have lots of time to prepare( I'm very Type A). With all that said I did fly out on the 17th and got here on the 19th. Nowing now that if I would have been selfish and stuck with the original plan I would not be here at all because of the huge blizzard that is happening back in the states( HAHA :) ). It is just so neat how God works out the little details. We truly do serve a good God.As for my bad situation, I don't have an update for you. According to Air France they are on their way to Koutiala already but we aren't really sure how that happend because we never saw them come through Bamako. In the end it will all work out, and I'm happy with extra clothes and some shampoo. Have a great day!!

Who needs clothes anyways? : )

2009-12-20T11:22:00.007-05:00

Well there is still no sign of my luggage and they are not on the flight for tonight so I will be heading out to Koutiala tomorrow morning with no luggage. Thankfully the missionaires let me borrow a tshirt and a skirt so I do finally have clean clothes and I did finally get to wash my hair with Shampoo(YEAH!!), but other than that I'm living the simple life. Hopefully my bags will arrive on Monday night and they will but them on the bus to Koutiala so they arrive on Tuesday but we will see.

Last night I went with the missionaries and a group of student from Dakar Acadamy(who were stuck in Mali because they missed their flight) to a resturant called Broadway. It was american food(kinda)and it was pretty good. We also were able to go to the store to buy all of my food items for Koutiala. I will be cooking most of my food which will be very interesting but I am actually really excited to take on the challenge. It is so amazing how different you have to buy all of the food over here, its all in powders or heated, but I'm really excited to start cooking. When we got back I went to bed but was not able to sleep. I woke up around 4:30am and I could hear the Islam Call to Prayer that was happening in town. It was kind of a neat thing to experience

Today I went over to the Ellenberger's, they are in charge of the guesthouse here in Bamako, and they made me a wonderful lunch. We had tacos on real African tortillas : ) While we ate lunch we listened to christmas music and the best part is they have a CHRISTMAS TREE(as you can see above)!! Haha It doesn't quite feel like Christmas as it's 90 degrees outside but I don't mind : ) Tonight we are going to a special Christmas service at church and then having a feast afterwards. It should be fun! Then tomorrow morning I will be travelling to Koutiala with the McClean family(He is the Pediatrition at the hospital). Please pray for safety and that by bags will arrive shortly after I do. Have a great day!

Why didn't I learn more French...

2009-12-19T10:58:00.000-05:00

Adventure # 2 was not quite as fun as my first part of the trip. It all started in the Paris airport when they called for my flight for Bamako. There was no calling for rows or classes, instead everyone just rushed to the door to get on the plane. I got to my seat and settled in when my the man in the seat next to me arrived and began talking to me in French. I politely said I don't speak much French and we began to talk in his broken English. Its so funny how God puts certain people in our lives and we wouldn't think twice about it, but this man and I spent a lot of time together as you will here more about later. As we began to leave the gate I fell asleep and woke up still on the runway. I was really confused thinking I must have slept through the whole 5 hour flight to Bamako(I wish) and asked the man next to me if we had landed in Bamako yet. He laughed and said we had been sitting on the Paris runway for 3 hours because of ice. Finally we took off and we made it to Bamako safely. This is where the real adventure begins. I followed the crowd into the baggage claim area and everyone was pushing and rushing to get through the line. They handed me a customs card to fill out (which I thought I was prepared for) but I was flustered with that while everyone was pushing me forward. I just kept looking at people saying "Parle vous anglais", and people just kept looking at me weird. Finally some man who spoke a little bit of English came and helped me fill out my card and we went on to get my baggage. After about 45 minutes of being pushed around waiting for my bags the man finally yelled "Fini" which means finished in French. This is where a tad bit of panic set in as I still did not have any of my bags. So I tried to speak French to those around me to try and figure out what to do but it wasn't really working and I was getting frustrated so I said a little pray and headed outside to find my ride. I finally found one of the missionaries and told him what happened so we went back inside to try and claim my bags. We arrive at the desk behind about 40 people in front of us. Well after 4 hours of waiting we finally were able to make a claim.It's all part of the adventure right? Oh and remember how I told you about my seat buddy and how God works, well he lost his bags too so we stood in line and talked for a while longer about Mali and life and even Religion(he is a Muslim). It was really neat to learn more about this culture in person and not from a book. So after that experience we finally made in home around 4:40am and I quickly realized that I wouldn't be able to talk to my parents and I just prayed that they found a way to figure out I was OK, which they did( Of Course, we serve a mighty God).

So today began my actually adventure in Africa and It's been great. I locked myself in my house this morning and the missionaries had to come get me out, but what a great way to meet them right? They are so great and I feel right at home. We already went to the pool and just relaxed for a little while before heading out to dinner later tonight. I will be heading out on the 5 hour drive to Koutiala Monday morning to begin my time at the hospital. God is so good and I can already tell this trip is going to be life changing! : )

Au Revoir

Bonjour Mademoiselle...Bienvenue

2009-12-18T07:10:00.000-05:00

Well I made it to Paris...its been quite the adventure I must say. The night started out when I boarded my plane from Newark to Paris. I started a conversation with my seat buddy about where she was from and what she was doing in Paris. It turns out she was from Paris and was just visiting the US. She then asked me if this would be my first time in Paris and then looked down at my shoes (I'm the American who was so excited to be in warm weather I wore my Chacos the whole way). I'm pretty sure she thought I was crazy for wearing sandals but I finally told her I was connecting to Africa and she just laughed and said she could tell my the shoes.

The flight was long and very bumpy and I probably only got about an hour of sleep, but I was so excited to finally land in Paris(even thought I couldn't' see the Eiffel tower from the air ). My real adventure started when I got off the plane. First off the airport in Paris is not like any airport I have ever been in and almost all of the signs are in French(and everyone you see is speaking french). I wandered around for a little while talking to random strangers trying to figure out how to get to my next terminal. The last man I talked to laughed at me and said well that terminal is really far away...good luck. Well I finally found the right station to get on the shuttle. I've learned that I really need to work on my french.After riding the freezing cold shuttle around the airport for 20 minutes I finally found my terminal. Now I know why ny seat buddy was laughing about my shoes...it's really cold here. Next I had to try to find my gate which continued as another adventure because I almost died getting into the train. The door to the train slams shut when it's ready to go, but I didn't want to wait for the next train so I tried to run in really fast and I made it but I almost lost an arm. Now I am safely at my gate with another 3 hours to go before I head out to Bamako. Time to get some sleep....

I'm going...not coming

2009-12-17T15:53:00.000-05:00

Here I am sitting at my gate in the Cleveland Airport with lots of time to think about what I'm about to do. I just said goodbye to my family with many tearful hugs and a I will see you soon. It was really hard, but I know that I am not alone through this trip. I am so thankful for all of your prayers, they will carry me through. I sit here and look around at all of the people who are traveling with me. I would say about 95% percent of them are on their way home for Christmas. People all around me are on their cell phones calling their families with anticipation for their arrival. Then I am reminded...I'm going, not coming. I'm leaving my family for Christmas. I won't lie and say that I'm not scared because I am, but I know that even though i am not going to be with my family this Christmas, I am going to be doing God's will and that will make the best Christmas present ever. This trip is something I have anticipated for months and I can't believe it is finally here. I'm only 24 hours aways from being in Mali. This will be one of the hardest and the best Christmas ever.

Next Stop...Paris : )

And so it begins....

2009-12-16T21:03:00.001-05:00

As I sat on my bed sorting all of watches I collected (81 to be exact) for Mali and trying to fit 100lbs of stuff into two (rather small)bags i began to realize I am really leaving for Africa in less than 24 hours.

There are so many different emotions going through my head right now. I am so incredibly excited to see what God has in store for me and if this is where he is calling me for full time ministry. I am so excited to learn more about medical missions and to help deliver babies! I am so excited to just love on the little children and Malian people. The joy is definitely there, but along with the joy comes fear. I know that I will be leaving my family tomorrow for 3 weeks, missing all of our traditional Christmas activities. I know the goodbye is not going to be easy and I know that I will cry a lot tomorrow. As hard as this goodbye is and as strong as the fear is, it just reminds me that I serve a good God and I will not be alone. This fear is even good because it reminds me of how I am in complete surrender to my Savior who has this all under control. Sometimes I feel like I'm in way over my head, I feel so inadequate to do this work, because I am inadequate when I try to do it alone. I am only a weak vessel serving a powerful God and this is the call that He has put on my heart, therefore he will provide everything I need to do his work.

I am so ready for this adventure to begin.